Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
The ass gains better be worth it
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