Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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