she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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