Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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