is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
