My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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