Plan B is the new Plan A
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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