areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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