Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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