you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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