We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
