I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
MIDGETS
????
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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