me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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