Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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