mondays should just be called national damage control day
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
