We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
