In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
