I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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