My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize