Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
