he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
