I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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