In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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