Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
