I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
