I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
only you would photoshop your dick
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
