told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
