So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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