I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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