clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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