it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
