I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
