she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
