Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
