I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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