Slut skills are useful in every country.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
