dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
