is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
