oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
