Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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