Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize