I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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