to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize