You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
