So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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