I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
