wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
