Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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