$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize