the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
