i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
