his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woke up backwards on a recliner
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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