don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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