Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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