have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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