party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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