Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
