I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
