cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
