My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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