Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
