Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
