I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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