i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
