Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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