dude i'm inner monologue high
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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