Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
