According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
