Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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