Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
