this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
