Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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