Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
