He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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